Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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