you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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