i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
