I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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