She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
