You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize