I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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