It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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