you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
