It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
