I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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