better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
