All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Buhtt sex?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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