ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
