I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
