No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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