I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
