I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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