Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
