You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
