three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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