theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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