Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
