On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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