I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Still dying that you shit outside
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
