You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize