Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
