just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
