Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
