all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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