im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm just crazy horny about you
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
