Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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