I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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