is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
