I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i believe in u and ur pee
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
