1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
