Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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