I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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