I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
