sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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