I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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