kristin has been a bad kristin
lets start a swedish sibling band together
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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