U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
