Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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