You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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