Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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