isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
