My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I touched a dick in church today
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
