We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
