I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
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They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
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I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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