someone get that fucking seahorse.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
