I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Shame - the story of my life.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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