i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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