I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
