"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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