My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
