ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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