You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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