and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
