Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
